A midnight-blue New York Yankees ballcap.
That is how most residents of Piedmont, Oklahoma, knew Don Bence. He loved being a part of this community since retiring 14 years ago.
Everyone knew him because beginning a friendly conversation came easy to him. Working for the town newspaper, he loved learning and telling the stories of his fellow Piedmont residents.
Sadly, Don Bence passed away recently at the age of 85. Most people never knew that he had an amazing life but was too humble to share it. But this is the story of their friendly neighbor in the New York Yankees ball cap.
Don Bence was born August 16th, 1933 in Dill City, OK to C.B. and Verna Mae Bence. He grew up on his father’s farm during the Depression and graduated from Dill City High School in 1951. He served two years in the Army Reserves and graduated from Oklahoma A&M, now OSU. Don married Daisy Marie Hennessey on May 10th, 1957 at Capitol Hill Baptist church in Okla. City. I came into this story in 1958 then later we moved to Fort Worth, TX where my father attended the Southwest Baptist Seminary from 1959 to 1962.
My earliest memory is how tall, sweet, and genuine my father was, a true Christian gentleman. Then suddenly, Don had to have an emergency operation to relieve pressure on his brain from an old injury when he fell off a wagon as a boy. The experimental procedure helped the problem but left him in terrible pain. We had to move back to Oklahoma City.
My father recovered but was changed.
Don was asked to be youth minister at a church in Mulligan Flats, the poorest area of Oklahoma City. Over 20 other men had turned it down. People tried to discourage my parents saying you cannot take two small children there. My parents went and I am glad they did, for I never met danger there but did encounter God.
I watched poor people working together to help each other. There was such an outpouring of the Holy Spirit and my father stood tall with my mother at center of this transformation not only of the community but also me, their son. Wanting to be like my father put me on a path that would one day lead to co-founding a ministry and replicating this transformation in the projects of New York City.
Years went by and life was not easy. Don’s pain increased, making it hard to live with him, but he loved us. We did not fully understand everything until many years later when I saw a video about men who had the operation Don had. Over time it eroded the nerves and bone behind the ear. 99 out of every 100 men had their lives destroyed, lost their families or were dead.
For the first time I completely understood how miraculous and precious the life of Don Bence really was. The pain almost killed him as well, but he fought to survive and pass on a spiritual legacy to his sons. If he had not done so where would his sons, grandchildren and great grandchildren be today. Where would all the people my parents helped and those my brother and I have helped be? It is a priceless inheritance.
And now to explain the New York Yankees hat. Don’s grandson Joshua Bence, a phenom baseball pitcher from age 5, was in every New York newspaper. He became a good luck charm for Yankees minor league teams who insisted he travel with the players who called him Yankee Boy Josh. He gave the Yankees hat to his grandfather to wear as together we went with him all over the Northeast. Joshua spent time and was in the papers with famous players like Willie Mays, Hank Aaron, Ron Guidry, Reggie Jackson, Bernie Williams, David Wells, Mariano Rivera and Derek Jeter.
Later, as Yankees minor league players, traveled from coast to coast, they would call my son if they were in a slump asking him to send his famous Home Run cookies. They would be shipped to Don and he would deliver them to the visiting ballplayers at the Redhawks ballpark. They recognized the tall man in the Yankees hat holding cookies. The players quickly opened and shared cookies with Don, took the field and would break out of their slump with a home run. That is why Don Bence was always in the New York Yankees hat.
It was a wonderful baseball life and these special times only happened because of Don’s courage to master pain and suffering. He was an avid Abraham Lincoln collector and visited Lincoln sites between ballgames. Don’s favorite line from Lincoln was that to overcome adversity we must aspire and hold onto the better angels of our nature.
A celebration of life service will be held in Don Bence’s honor at 11 a.m., March 9th, 2019 at the Eagle’s Crest Fellowship Church, 5956 NW 23rd Street in Oklahoma City.
This obituary was written by Randy Bence.
